Sometimes I wish that I had a super memorycard where I could save all my memories and go back to them whenever I wanted and relive them as they just happened and the memorie inside me would be as refreshed as it happened 5 minutes ago.
I wish I could remember everything.
I wish I could remember the smell of my mothers scones.
I wish I could remember the exciting feeling of not being able to sleep the day before christmas or before birthdays.
I wish I could feel the urge to go through the closet the weeks before christmas and check out what santa was to bring.
I wish that I could remember the butterflies that very first day of school.
I wish I could remember that first feeling of attachment to my first boyfriend.
I wish I could remember the joy of being a child playign with my siblings.
I wish I could remember those many family nights, with take out pizza and fangarna pa fortet pa 4an.
I wish I remember the rainy evening on a campsite somewhere in sweden, or those snowy nights and and days i bjursas where we had our husvagn the whole winter.

And I sure do remember all these things, I sure do remember the joy of winning a soccer game at the age of 11, and the joy of beating my father at some card game, even though that almost never happened, he always sat on the winning hand.
But even though I remember all this..
Its so weak.
I have the memories but they don't really tell me much and I cant keep a long memory, there are only glimts.


Now, there is Bones, grays anatomy and private practise!

love, em.