The stress from home. The frustration of dissapointments. The hopes that gets taken apart. The fights that I never start but always have to end. The face I need to keep to not trig anything off. The lack of peace, the lack of communication, the constant feeling of being picked on. Playing a game that I can never win, a game I don't have or know the rules for. It feels like a bad dream, the once you know are a dream but you can not wake up. The feeling of something heavy on my chest. The feeling of not being able to breath or move freely. The feeling of editing your emotions and feelings so nothing slips out wrong. The feeling of not being myself, the feeling of needing to be someoneelse, the feeling of someone else wanting you to be different - quiter, easier to control and more obeing. - I don't know what to do, its breaking me apart from inside and there is no way to communicate that feeling of hoplessness. This changes me. I snap - at the kids at school, my dear friends who are always there to help, love and support, at complete strangers at the supermarket. I'm loosing myself - again. Re-focus? I don't know how. Love, em.