EM

The last month has been a month of reflection, a thought process that never seemed to see its final destination. Last week I reached a final point, that made me see things from a different point of view, when the anger calmed it self down and the present moment didn't feel like a thunderstorm anymore and my thoughts actually made sense to me and to people around me. I ended the venting process for a week and turned to myself; I stopped analyzing other people's life and started to figure out my own place in the whole situation.
I know me, and I know how I work and I know how I treat other people and that's the only thing that I can keep response for, the rest, is something I need to let go of because there is nothing I can do to effect other people to become something that they are not.
I treat people the way I want to be treated myself, I care for people the way I want other people to care for me, I'm there for people the way I want people to be there for me when my life isn't seeing the brightest of days. I live life that way, because at the end of the day all I got is myself and if I'm not true to myself and live life the way it's supposed to be lived I loose the biggest battle of them all, the battle of become the best you can become as a human being. Living that way I get hurt many times, I meet people who take advantage of this and treat me differently than I believe that people deserve to get treated. I have heard since I was very young that I am too nice for my own good - but here is the thing, I am the person that I am and people that screws me over are the problem, not me being to nice.
Yes I get hurt, yes I hate being treated the way a few people have treated me the last year but at the end of the day, I can sleep well at night knowing that I didn't treat anyone wrong and if I did I'll always do my best to fix what's done, move on and learn and never again repeat the mistakes from the past. I'm not the one who has to live knowing I treated someone else very wrong; I'm not the one who has to go to sleep knowing that I have been a complete asshole. I can only be the person that I am and then it's up to the world to show me fair play. In a soccer game it's the person who plays ugly who gets the punishment and not the person getting hurt. I might be hurting, I might have been able to do things differently to not get hurt, trust less, care less, feel less - but even if I'm hurting from everything that's happened the last year, I'll heal and I'll move on and grow stronger. The people who did me wrong, can never escape from the past and the people and the person who did me wrong will always know that. So in the end, who wins? Even if it sucks in the present, the future might be brighter by being the bigger person in present, which one they will become the past. So I believe that being the bigger person always gives you the reward of victory, don't sink down to other peoples level if you deep in your heart know that's wrong, because that makes you the same type of hypocrite.
Let people talk, don't talk back. You know the truth, and you know who you are so why dignify stupid behaviour with a respond? Because even if someone else talks to make themselves feel better, it doesn't make it true and it doesn't make it right. They know in their heart that it's wrong and that's something that they will have to live with.

So say whatever, because in the end it tells the world more about yourself then it will ever tell about me or anyone else your comments are directed to.

Be yourself, follow your own values and surround yourself with people who share those values, and let all those other people enjoy their own drama and let those people live with their own flaws.

In the end, you will win, just by being yourself - the good side always wins, right? I'm a hopeless optimist when it comes down to right and wrong, so lets hope that the world in the end show me some fair play.

Love, Em.