EM

"A hopeless romantic person" is a sentence that I would use on me - and I am not the only one, that was how Kristen described me the last time we went to the movies. I have always been that person, ask anyone who have ever known me and they would say the same thing. I love the movies that give out the message that with love, everything is possible and to settle for comfortable is only for lazy people who lost their faith in love.

People have always told me that the movies I refer my life to is not reality and on the Hollywood glamorous screen everything is possible, but in our daily life living situation we need to stay real to ourselves and our feelings. But if I want to stay real to my feeling, I believe that waiting for that breathtaking love that lifts you of your ground and put you on top of their world. I do not believe in bad timing, personal issues or bad karma, I believe that if you truly love someone and that something is meant to be, it will be.

What I am trying to say is that I believe in a feeling and if the feeling is right, there is nothing that can stand in the way for it. The feeling needs to be mutual, the feeling needs to go both ways - otherwise its not like the happy love movie, then it's just sad, heartbreaking and something many of us faces on daily bases.
So in one way I am happy that I am what I am and believe in what I believe in, because I wont settle for the simple road, because if I did I could have been hitched of the market a long time ago if I wanted to. One thing my best friend Ewa once told me, one of the first time I met her, at the time I was still very young, and I complained about still being single, my guy friends told me I was too picky and Ewa told me "you're only single because you want to" and combine those two answers I found the real me. I was single because I wanted to and I was single because I was too picky to just pick the first guy. It wasn't that I really wanted to be single, but I didn't want to be in a relationship bad enough to just settle for randomness.
This is why I always kept trying after all those times I hit the wrong type of relationship, or wrong type of feeling, with the same eager and same faith in the fact that I would be happy one day too.
I know I am a strong person, I mean, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and everything that hits you in life make you learn how to deal with things in the future. I am also a very emotional person, which is something that could be a very bad combo. But I let my self out there and if I loose, yeah, I loose big time and it makes me very upset, heartbroken and devastated at the time but knowing myself I know that I will rise from that as well. Because being a very emotional person is something that I have learned is a good thing that pays off in the end. It takes a lot for an emotional breakdown, I have one every 6 months if nothing really bad happens, like last Monday on the day IT when the 24^th came and passed.
But when things happens to me, like one of those heartbreaking stories when the Hollywood story doesn't become your reality, I don't collapse, not for very long at least. Being a very emotional person makes me give my heart and give it my best, and if it falls apart and I get burned I get extremely sad, not functional, bed resting, crying, analysing - yeah you know, the whole package of getting your heart cut in half. I believe that it's good to let all that come out, because it goes away. If you let it all out, allow yourself to feel everything that you feel and allow yourself to be an emotional whore, things gets easier. Because hell yeah it sucks to get your heart burned, but if you keep it inside of you it will take you longer to get over it. So let it all out, and keep believing.

Believe is my other best friend Pinks favourite word and I understand why, because believe takes you further then you can imagine. I believe and I know I will get my Hollywood ending because of it. It helps me to believe in that, it helps me to believe that everything we are is there for a reason and if something is meant to be it is meant to be so there is no reason to dry your eyes, let it out and move on because what's meant to be will be, no matter how many tears you're spilling. Believing that always brings me right back on top of the game, believing that, never keeps me down on the low for very long. One thing that I stopped doing is to analyse, because if it isn't meant to be it wont be no matter how much you're trying to turn it all around, because some people wont come around, because of the fact that it isn't meant to be. You just need to be on the top of the game and believe and have faith that you will get your Hollywood story.
I mean hell yeah its easy to be realistic, but that life just seems a little to boring for me.

Never settle for anything less then the ZSA ZSA ZSU, I got tattoo onto my ankle, so I kind of have to live by it - right? And if we only live once, we should really get the chance to live the story that everyone else wants to write.

Right now I'm playing Beyoncé's new album and as I'v introduced to you all before, if I were a boy and single ladies are two favourites on her new album, but now when I just got the whole CD with all her new songs, I have a new favourite.

Broken hearted girl

If everything about you never were

The nothing I like about you could have been

But still you live inside of me

So tell me how is that

You're the only one I wish I could forget

The only one I love to not forgive

And though you've break my heart

You're the only one

And though there are times when I hate you

Cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me

And put tears on my face

And even when I hate you its pains me to say

I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you babe

I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna to take a breath without you babe

I don't want to play that part

I know that I love you but let me just say

I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no

I don't want a broken heart

And I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl no no

No broken-hearted girl

I'm no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say

Up 'til now I've always been afraid

That you would never come around

And still I wanna put this out

You say you got the most respect for me

But sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me

And still you're in my heart

But you're the only one

And yes there are times when I hate you

But I don't complain

Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away

Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say

That I will be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you babe

I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna to take a breath without you baby

I don't want to play that part

I know that I love you but let me just say

I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no

I don't want a broken heart

I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh

I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, mmm yeah

Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free

To spread my wings and fly away, away with you,

Yeah yeah yeah, oh ohh...

I don't wanna be without my baby

I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna to take a breath without my baby

I don't want to play that part

I know that I love you but let me just say

I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no

I don't want a broken heart

I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Broken-hearted girl, no, no

No broken-hearted girl

No broken-hearted girl    


so live safe and love a lot and never let the chance of love go away.
Love, em.