EM

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)

You may be quite determined to get to the bottom of something that's been bothering you for a while. This isn't some passing whim; you are committed to doing whatever is necessary to fully understand your feelings. You may be driven by unrealistic values, yet you don't have to lose sight of what's real. Decide what's most important to you and then bring these ideals down to earth.

To be a gemini is never easy, it always puts you in different situations where you feel lost and don't know how to get out of them. I have always been a very emotional person, and I dedicate myself to everything that I do.. And for some reason I always get hurt on the way there.. I trust the wrong people, and I believe that they have their best interest for me.. but a very few people actually do.. That way I always get hurt, that way I always end up with less then I started of with.. Because I give more of myself, then I get in return.. I love my life, don't get me wrong I really do, but sometimes it feels like the universe thinks that I deserve to live a life I don't believe in.. My life fails all my thoughts and all my attempts to get a good life.. Maybe I need to get home on a safe base, maybe I need to get back to were I started off to be able to trust other people again.. it doesn't matter how much I love America, and how much America is my home - maybe I need to go home, maybe I need to be around people that are real, because most people here aren't.. and I'm so done of being disappointed, I'm tired of it.. I'm done being hurt, because I always do get hurt, so hurt that it's so hard to rise up from it.. and I don't need that.. so from this day, I need to make some difficult decisions and move on with my life, and live all this behind me. The question is, am I ready for that? Maybe I am and maybe I can make it work, because the day I move back to Europe, America is left behind and it always will be.. It can never again be my present.. it will forever be my past.. god, I'm so hurt right now, that I can't even think straight. I wish that I could just be like so many other people - I wish that I could ignore other people when they are idiots and be fine with that, but I can't.. I need to stay faithful to my heart, and that's the hard part..

Why can't my life just be easy?

LOVE , EM