EM

My life is changing and it's happening in a speed I'v never experienced before, or have I?

I was on the phone with one of my old friends Karin today, and she asked me about plans for future life, since she last talked to me 3 weeks ago. I realized talking to her that as much as my life change in 3 weeks isn't normal to many, but for me, it's a reality, a reality that I'm facing year after year. 3 weeks ago my life situation was totally different and also my future plans. I updated her and as I was talking to her about my plans I also set them in stone for myself, speaking words out loud makes them real. I want to write, I want to be happy, I want to live life as it comes and I want to trust destiny to take me there. Therefore I don't try to control my plans or the direction my life is taking, no, I'm listening to my feelings and I let the chose the next step on my journey.
I always hear people talking about becoming something great, I always hear people around having major goals for their future brightness.
For me it's not about becoming a lawyer, a doctor or something else that pays the big money but I think it's fantastic that some people want to dedicate their life to save peoples life and protect people to spend their life in prison, freaking great!
Since I was 11 years old I have wanting to become a writer. I have come to the understanding that I won't be a Michelle Moore in two seconds and have best selling books all over the country, nationwide, I know I need a job on the side. I always thought that journalism would be my way to get there, but I'm confused over the choice now. I have been talking to so many people who tells me that their writing have been destroyed since they became journalists, journalism isn't about writing, it's about reporting and is that something that I want to do?
I need some serious thinking time.

I talked to a journalist from The Sun, two weeks ago - he told me, if I want to become a writer I need to dedicate myself to become the best writer I can be. Becoming a journalist will not help, I can't be a reporter during the day, writing after rules and directions set by the editors, and then be a creative writer at night time. He said, work at Mc Donald's! Write at night! I said never Mc Donald's! This got me to think, therefore my life changed more then it should have, but it's a good change and it is something that I believe in. I updated Karin and I updated myself. Yes my life changed a lot these couple of weeks, my view on things changed, my view of people in my life changed, my appreciation for people in my life changed, my living situation changed and my future changed - but it's a great feeling, following your gut, following your heart - and you can never be mislead. I believe in faith and life, and life will bring me forward and faith will put me in the right direction, I just need to stop controlling it and do with my life as my life do to me, live it instead of planning it!
AND NO, I won't wake up when I'm 35 asking myself where my life went, because I don't live that way, I live like everyday is the last one and I search for every chance to reach happiness and that's what life is about for me - and living it this way, can never make me fail.

Now I'm cuddling down with Prince, watching Batman the dark night, which I bought last night - btw, tomorrow is the day when mama mia comes out on DVD, AMAZING! I'm buying it, just to let you know, cause that movie makes my heart sing!

Love, em.