I will take this in english - no more missunderstandings, no more wrongs - not from my side..
The wake-up call from above and the chance came as a saving angel.

When I was a child, I was a person who couldn't loose a game. I was not a good team player because I always wanted to be in control, I have always from very young year until the day today been extremly good on doing me. Do me is one thing I know how to do, and if I let other people in to close I'm scared of losing the control of being me, I am scared that if I do l wont have anyone standing there to grab me when I'm falling - because I will fall, we always do from time to time, real people stands up and start walking again, but from time to time we all need a helping hand and to get that helping hand we need to let people in, let people really know everything about you.
As a moving soul there are parts of me who always gets left behind, by choice, because we always learn how to be more our self with time and everything we once used be might no longer be the true reflection of us. People are not perfect I am not perfect.. and people do learn from their misstakes and improves when we face sides of us that are not anything to admire. I am scared of critizism, I am scared of not being perfect.. because I have changed during the years, I was never anything to be achamed of, but I wasn't what I today view as me.. I am not pretending to be something that I'm not, I'm not pretending to be perfect, but I do tend to show of with my best side, or atleast I try to show of my best side.. I do have a hard time talking about the past, because I feel like it's not a part of my present, but on the other hand my past taught me to be me and to understand me today, it's important to stand up for the person that you used to be, everyone you meet comes with a past and the saying "you don't know where a person is going if you don't know where the person have been before".. 

It took alot for me to understand that I need to be open and that I need to help people cloose to me understand me, because you need to tell people, for them to understand and knowing, because no one comes with a manual.. A very special person made me understand, after the storm of emotions clearity came and I started to understand where it all begun - a relationship rocks if the understanding is deep, and it is rocky if the understanding isn't broad enough then the present.. I don't want a relationship to be rocky.. I wan't it to rock and our relationship rocks, even though we sometimes might walk through some ruff phases, we always got eachothers backs because for some reason we know the real deal when it's there and we know how amazing we are when we get the roughness under control.. there is where the understanding part comes in, with full understanding any relationship will work - so if you have an amazing relationship, is the understanding part nothing you would like to work on? I believe so, and for me to stay in this relationship I need to fully understand him - but the big story is him understanding me, understand everything about me, which is hard when I am a complicated soul. I need to open up and change and not being affraid of not being perfect, I need to prove that I can be me without the gard up - and I can, I know that I can because nothing of this is real if I don't do that, 100%, that's what you give in a relationship.. and I will do everything in my power to stay in this amazing relationship.. 
We can lay for hours stearing into eachothers eyes and know, this is the real thing - because we are so similar in so many way - it's a miracle that we are not tired of eachother, that's our history pattern, to get tired of boy and girlfriends.. it's a miracle how we always make it through, doesn't matter how hard it is, because we fight for eachother.. we are the best of teams, and I'm not even a teamplayer.. I can't loose.. I can't loose him, but I can loose the control, because I know that he got my back at all times.. 

The less perfect of me -  I think will make us perfect. He made me understand the importance of this and for that I will be him forever grateful.. He makes me complete.

love em.