EM

So, this is my thought process this am, or it has been on my mind as an ongoing train of thoughts since saturday.

As we were sitting around the table at Lillies baptizing reception I was surrounded by all the people who was there through it all, people who have helped to shape who I am - I started to think about just that, how I became me and how I am going to help Lillie become who she will be, in the future - the hugh and big resposibillity embraced my heart like thorns and that made the brain spinn in all kinds of directions!

As I was sitting around these people, I first and for most felt filled with joy, happiness and love, and it also made think about the journey we have all been on. When was sitting there at the table with my sleeping daughter in my arms and all my friends around me, friends who have been there since my early teens if not longer and we chatted it up, I was thinking about all those crazy times as we were younger, and how we become the people we are today due to the great support we have from friends and families and how much it always has helped to feel safe and sound knowing how to lean and how to move and always be in the surrounding by these people. These people helped me spread my wings, as I explored the world their support was still present - because all of the people in that room, shaped me, so they are me, as I am them, where ever I turn in the world.  

Due to ALL of my experience, good and bad, lesson learned and lessons hurt - I wonder this.

 

HOW, do I tell my daughter what to do and what not to do, what are the things she will do regardless of my input - the same way I walked my own way with the support of my friends as the support of my parents ended.
How do I tell my daughter was lessons she shall not learn on her own because they will hurt, so why learn it?

So I say this,

I hope I do a good enough job up until the day she will wander in to the school of life, where the lessons may hurt and where the homework might difficult to solve - that she will know how to lean, that she will know how to ask for advice when needed, and that she always know how to talk to us. I hope I do a good enough job so that I can trust her exploring life and test bounderies and know that if water raises over her head, she will come ask for help. I hope that I do a good enough job, that I will never have to tell her what to do, she will know what to do. I hope I do a good enough job, so that I can trust her.

I believe that trust is my key words, as I have to trust myself and keith to know how to do this.

 

The years that leads up to that are the years that will define how she handles the world and the challanges she will land up on, and it is my job to make sure she is ready for that.
No teen is a hard case of bad attitude - no child is born to walk the wrong road though life.

It is our job as parents to make sure that they are ready, it is our job to make sure we can trust them, because if we do a good job, we will be able to trust them.

I hope I do as good of a job, along with keith as my friends and family did with me - because I always landed on my feet, I knew when to ask for help, and I knew when I could handle a task on my own. I did good, because of my upbringing. yes, I was allowed to do what I wanted within reasons, but only because I was trusted, and if that trust was evere broken, I'm sure my teen years would have looked very different.

 

All I can do, is my best, and hope that this is enough the day it will come to test.

 

love.